Dildos
These come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some phallic, others, disturbingly, in the shape of animals, some curved for g-spot stimulation, and others with an extra bit for clitoral stimulation.
It’s best to visit a sex store to determine what is best for you. If it’s your first time, I strongly recommend Venus Envy in Halifax, as they’re very female friendly, and are open to any sort of questions you may have, They also offer workshops. For those of you who aren’t open to shoving something man-made inside of you, there are also vegetable options in the grocery store, zucchini, cucumbers, and maybe an interestingly shaped butternut squash.
Vibrators
I know this is a general term, but sometimes you just want a simple phallic shaped device (and if not, watch the Sex and the City episode where they talk about the Rabbit vibe). There’s also one promoted by Fantasia parties, lovingly termed the Disco Dick, as it glows in a variety of colours and pulses. In addition, there's the iVibe, but it’s just something you can plug your ipod into so it’ll pulse along to the music.
There are many many options out there, and it’s best to visit a sex store (Venus Envy in Halifax, or Xclusive Boutique in Moncton), visit a sex toy party (http://www.fantasia.ca), or look online for the best option.
Keep in mind that the above list was just the basics, to introduce you to what’s out there, I strongly encourage you to visit a sex store (if you’re nervous, say you’re doing research for a sex column) or look online for various options. Sex toys aren’t for everyone, but they do tend to spice up things in the bedroom, and I’m a huge fan of trying everything at least once.
Wednesday 29 October 2008
Janet and her husband started swinging seven years, they had rules governing the various permutations of what they would do, and with whom.
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I’m still reeling from the staggering survey result that 46% of students here believe women who are raped are partially or wholly to blame
I’m still reeling from the staggering survey result that 46% of students here believe women who are raped are partially or wholly to blame for their ordeal.
I’m assuming most of the students who made this very depressing announcement are male. Please correct me if I’m wrong. I narrowly missed becoming the victim of a group attack myself, many years ago. I was walking home with a female friend from a disco, both of us wearing full-length coats, as was the fashion of the time. We were not dressed provocatively or acting provocatively in any way whatsoever. A car full of drunken young men drove past, slowed down, reversed and began to shout the most obscene things at the pair of us. We were both terrified but made no reply. A few minutes later the car stopped and the occupants got out and came staggering towards us. At this point we fled into the garden of a nearby house and pretended we lived there, banging loudly on the door. The car sped off but stopped a little way up the road and waited: watching to see if we would be admitted to the house.
We felt we were being hunted down like animals. With nobody from the house coming to our aid and no handy mobile phone to call the police, we feared we were about to be seriously assaulted. Or worse. In the end we hid behind some shrubs and prayed for a miracle. The men came into the garden but they did not find us. They left, swearing loudly. A few minutes later we took our chances and fled home. After that I never went to another disco without booking a reliable taxi home first, and I always left the venue 30 minutes before the end of the night. Would I have been to blame that night if I’d become a victim of rape? I don’t think so. And neither is any woman or girl. Everyone knows full well that a bit of tipsy flirting is not a guarantee of sex. Nor is a tight-fitting frock or a pair of high heels. If men cannot be blamed for finding such things irresistible then what is their excuse when they rape elderly women, or young children, or peasant women in dowdy rags or humble housewives in shabby tracksuits? I am appalled that anyone thinks it is a woman’s fault if she is raped. Was it the fault of that poor woman from Lithuania who was abducted from a Northern Ireland pub, drugged and raped by an evil gang who fully intended to deliver her into a nightmare life of forced prostitution? Are the illegal brothels here running out of drug-addicts or something? I mean, if we women are just desperate for rough sex with strangers all the time, you’d think there would be no need to drug and rape new prostitutes to get them started in the sex industry. I never, but never, thought I would agree with the extreme right on anything. But I’m beginning to think we should bring back hanging.
I’m sorry but I’m heartily terrified by the endless headlines about violent rape, child sex abuse, domestic violence, casual murder on our streets, the commonplace terrorising of our senior citizens and the modern scourge of drug-dealing. I’m sick of terrorists defending the slaughter of the innocents. I’m sick of women being treated as somehow culpable in their own rape. Would any woman seriously want to be so badly hurt and degraded that she later commits suicide? I am disgusted by the results of this so-called survey.
The Permissive Society was never meant to be a promise of sex-on-demand for any boozed-up male on the prowl. It was never meant to be the end of dignity and respect for girls and women everywhere. It was simply meant to be the end of treating women as chattels, and thus allowing them to choose their own lovers and husbands. Instead of being kept under lock-and-key in their father’s house and then handed over to be married to the first decent suitor that came along. So now, at long last, I have something in common with George Dubya Bush: Yes, I do support the death penalty. And if any man or men were to brutally and deliberately hurt someone close to me, I’d have no trouble in pulling the lever myself. Or whatever it is you have to do to hang a man these days. So there it is, guys. Are you shocked? Maybe you think any woman who is raped deserves everything she gets. But as far as I’m concerned, hanging is too good for the rapists. So there.
I’m assuming most of the students who made this very depressing announcement are male. Please correct me if I’m wrong. I narrowly missed becoming the victim of a group attack myself, many years ago. I was walking home with a female friend from a disco, both of us wearing full-length coats, as was the fashion of the time. We were not dressed provocatively or acting provocatively in any way whatsoever. A car full of drunken young men drove past, slowed down, reversed and began to shout the most obscene things at the pair of us. We were both terrified but made no reply. A few minutes later the car stopped and the occupants got out and came staggering towards us. At this point we fled into the garden of a nearby house and pretended we lived there, banging loudly on the door. The car sped off but stopped a little way up the road and waited: watching to see if we would be admitted to the house.
We felt we were being hunted down like animals. With nobody from the house coming to our aid and no handy mobile phone to call the police, we feared we were about to be seriously assaulted. Or worse. In the end we hid behind some shrubs and prayed for a miracle. The men came into the garden but they did not find us. They left, swearing loudly. A few minutes later we took our chances and fled home. After that I never went to another disco without booking a reliable taxi home first, and I always left the venue 30 minutes before the end of the night. Would I have been to blame that night if I’d become a victim of rape? I don’t think so. And neither is any woman or girl. Everyone knows full well that a bit of tipsy flirting is not a guarantee of sex. Nor is a tight-fitting frock or a pair of high heels. If men cannot be blamed for finding such things irresistible then what is their excuse when they rape elderly women, or young children, or peasant women in dowdy rags or humble housewives in shabby tracksuits? I am appalled that anyone thinks it is a woman’s fault if she is raped. Was it the fault of that poor woman from Lithuania who was abducted from a Northern Ireland pub, drugged and raped by an evil gang who fully intended to deliver her into a nightmare life of forced prostitution? Are the illegal brothels here running out of drug-addicts or something? I mean, if we women are just desperate for rough sex with strangers all the time, you’d think there would be no need to drug and rape new prostitutes to get them started in the sex industry. I never, but never, thought I would agree with the extreme right on anything. But I’m beginning to think we should bring back hanging.
I’m sorry but I’m heartily terrified by the endless headlines about violent rape, child sex abuse, domestic violence, casual murder on our streets, the commonplace terrorising of our senior citizens and the modern scourge of drug-dealing. I’m sick of terrorists defending the slaughter of the innocents. I’m sick of women being treated as somehow culpable in their own rape. Would any woman seriously want to be so badly hurt and degraded that she later commits suicide? I am disgusted by the results of this so-called survey.
The Permissive Society was never meant to be a promise of sex-on-demand for any boozed-up male on the prowl. It was never meant to be the end of dignity and respect for girls and women everywhere. It was simply meant to be the end of treating women as chattels, and thus allowing them to choose their own lovers and husbands. Instead of being kept under lock-and-key in their father’s house and then handed over to be married to the first decent suitor that came along. So now, at long last, I have something in common with George Dubya Bush: Yes, I do support the death penalty. And if any man or men were to brutally and deliberately hurt someone close to me, I’d have no trouble in pulling the lever myself. Or whatever it is you have to do to hang a man these days. So there it is, guys. Are you shocked? Maybe you think any woman who is raped deserves everything she gets. But as far as I’m concerned, hanging is too good for the rapists. So there.
YOUNG women are still reluctant to carry condoms because they believe it could damage their reputation
YOUNG women are still reluctant to carry condoms because they believe it could damage their reputation, the latest research from the Crisis Pregnancy Agency has found.Caroline Spillane, director of the agency, said that, despite the growing confidence of young women, there was still a reluctance to be seen to be ready for sex.She said young women were worried that if they produced condoms then they were perceived to be "easy"."That's a huge problem," she said. "It's probably going back to gender norms, and how women are supposed to behave. If I am seen to be ready for sex in this way, does it have an impact on my reputation?"The research also found that men were more worried about contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) than about an unplanned pregnancy.Ms Spillane said the prospect of an STD seemed more immediate to men while a crisis pregnancy could be seen as "more of a woman's problem. There is a cohort of men who are indifferent to unplanned pregnancy," she said.There has been a major increase in sexually transmitted infections in recent years, with the highest rate found in the 20-29 age group.The Well Woman centres have seen a five-fold increase in the number of people attending for sexually transmitted infection screening since 2002. The number of people testing positive for chlamydia rose by 11 per cent last year.Ms Spillane said the agency also found that alcohol was not the main factor in an unplanned pregnancy. "It is a factor but not the key factor. The key factor is the unplanned and opportunistic nature of sex. If you have the opportunity to have sex, you will take it," she said.She was speaking yesterday as the agency introduced a new "Think Contraception" campaign which encourages consistent use of contraception among young adults.
The campaign with the logo "Nobody else is going to do the thinking for you" is primarily aimed at the 18-24 age group and involves television, radio and online advertising, posters, leaflets and a website (www.thinkcontraception.ie)."We want to ensure that sexually active young adults plan for and consistently use contraception every time they have sex," said Enda Saul, programmes and communications manager. "We want both men and women to feel that contraception is a shared responsibility."Research commissioned by the agency has found that 26 per cent of 18-25 year olds do not consistently use contraception during sex. It also found that 28 per cent of women who had been pregnant had experienced a crisis pregnancy at some stage.Last week's Budget announced the merging of the agency into the HSE. Katharine Bulbulia, agency chairwoman, did not criticise the move. "The important part of this announcement is that the agency will continue its important work to address the issue of crisis pregnancy in Ireland," she said.
The campaign with the logo "Nobody else is going to do the thinking for you" is primarily aimed at the 18-24 age group and involves television, radio and online advertising, posters, leaflets and a website (www.thinkcontraception.ie)."We want to ensure that sexually active young adults plan for and consistently use contraception every time they have sex," said Enda Saul, programmes and communications manager. "We want both men and women to feel that contraception is a shared responsibility."Research commissioned by the agency has found that 26 per cent of 18-25 year olds do not consistently use contraception during sex. It also found that 28 per cent of women who had been pregnant had experienced a crisis pregnancy at some stage.Last week's Budget announced the merging of the agency into the HSE. Katharine Bulbulia, agency chairwoman, did not criticise the move. "The important part of this announcement is that the agency will continue its important work to address the issue of crisis pregnancy in Ireland," she said.
58 per cent of women said they are less interested in sex after a bad night's sleep
new survey says women would prefer sleep while men would prefer sex with that extra hour we get by setting back the clock this weekend. But it reinforces gender stereotypes and "doesn't help couples," says a Vancouver sex therapist.
The survey, conducted by an advocacy group for mattress manufacturers, found that 55 per cent of women would prefer to get more sleep with that extra hour compared to only 31 per cent of men.
It also found that nearly 57 per cent of men would prefer to be having sex in that extra hour compared to only 32 per cent of women. Nevermind that most men probably couldn't last the hour. But could it be that women really would prefer to sleep?
"I think that a survey like this really doesn't help couples," Pega Ren, a Vancouver sex therapist, told CTV.ca. "I think it enforces the stereotype that women do not desire sex and that men are always the aggressors. That women have something that men want and that women don't particularly want to give it to them."
"If you say to me, you have an extra hour in your life on a Saturday night, would you rather have an extra hour of sex or an extra hour of sleep, I may well say, give me the sleep, it's a Saturday night," Ren said. "But if you said to me, we're going to send you off to the hot spring and we're going to take care of the babysitter and we're going to give you an extra $50 on the room, now what's your answer, I may have a very different answer for you."
The online survey was conducted by Leger Marketing for the Better Sleep Council Canada, a group that promotes "the value that a better quality mattress and foundation can bring when regularly replaced within the sleep environment."
No surprise, then, that the survey found that 58 per cent of women said they are less interested in sex after a bad night's sleep, compared to 43 per cent of men. And 62 per cent of respondents said a better bed would improve their quality of sleep and one quarter said a better bed would improve their sex life.
"I've had the same mattress for years and when I want a better sleep I flip the mattress," Ren said. Ren said such surveys shut down avenues of communication between couples, who should really be talking about the factors that may influence their sex-versus-sleep preferences. "It makes it difficult for us to talk about these things because we assume that the answers are pre-determined," Ren said. "They're not."
The survey, conducted by an advocacy group for mattress manufacturers, found that 55 per cent of women would prefer to get more sleep with that extra hour compared to only 31 per cent of men.
It also found that nearly 57 per cent of men would prefer to be having sex in that extra hour compared to only 32 per cent of women. Nevermind that most men probably couldn't last the hour. But could it be that women really would prefer to sleep?
"I think that a survey like this really doesn't help couples," Pega Ren, a Vancouver sex therapist, told CTV.ca. "I think it enforces the stereotype that women do not desire sex and that men are always the aggressors. That women have something that men want and that women don't particularly want to give it to them."
"If you say to me, you have an extra hour in your life on a Saturday night, would you rather have an extra hour of sex or an extra hour of sleep, I may well say, give me the sleep, it's a Saturday night," Ren said. "But if you said to me, we're going to send you off to the hot spring and we're going to take care of the babysitter and we're going to give you an extra $50 on the room, now what's your answer, I may have a very different answer for you."
The online survey was conducted by Leger Marketing for the Better Sleep Council Canada, a group that promotes "the value that a better quality mattress and foundation can bring when regularly replaced within the sleep environment."
No surprise, then, that the survey found that 58 per cent of women said they are less interested in sex after a bad night's sleep, compared to 43 per cent of men. And 62 per cent of respondents said a better bed would improve their quality of sleep and one quarter said a better bed would improve their sex life.
"I've had the same mattress for years and when I want a better sleep I flip the mattress," Ren said. Ren said such surveys shut down avenues of communication between couples, who should really be talking about the factors that may influence their sex-versus-sleep preferences. "It makes it difficult for us to talk about these things because we assume that the answers are pre-determined," Ren said. "They're not."
As a sex, we're not the best communicators when it comes to talking to the women in our lives. I know I'm not - but I'm much better when I have a pen
The ‘Chasing Cars' frontman has admitted he uses his song-writing talents to express his feelings about the opposite sex.He said: "I think I write honestly about what goes on in a guy's mind, and girls are interested in that."As a sex, we're not the best communicators when it comes to talking to the women in our lives. I know I'm not - but I'm much better when I have a pen and paper in my hand."
Earlier this month, the band admitted they "set stuff on fire" while making their new album 'A Hundred Million Suns'.Gary - who claims their new LP is the band's first "happy" record - said:"We tried every available instrument and approach. From various levels of water in wine glasses to setting stuff on fire."It's important to love your instrument, but it's also important to set it on fire."
Earlier this month, the band admitted they "set stuff on fire" while making their new album 'A Hundred Million Suns'.Gary - who claims their new LP is the band's first "happy" record - said:"We tried every available instrument and approach. From various levels of water in wine glasses to setting stuff on fire."It's important to love your instrument, but it's also important to set it on fire."
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