“He talks about God, and loving God. he says that when we open to loving a person, whether that person is a spouse, friend, or child, we open our hearts to loving God. He says when we let someone love us, we're opening our hearts to god's love. he says the acts are the same. p 19 I decide loving isn't for the fain. Its for the courageous. p 19” ― Melody Beattie, The Lessons of Love: Rediscovering Our Passion for Life When It All Seems Too Hard to Take
25 Awesome Quotes- The language of letting go
“Life begins on the other side of despair” Jean-Paul Sartre
I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and willingness to remain vulnerable” Anne Morrow Lindbergh
I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and willingness to remain vulnerable” Anne Morrow Lindbergh
I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and willingness to remain vulnerable” Anne Morrow Lindbergh
There are times when we simply do not know what to do, or where to go, next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering. We can get through these times. We can rely on our program and the disciplines of recovery. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and our resources. Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have clear direction. Refusing to accept the inaction and limbo makes things worse. It is okay to temporarily be without direction. Say, "I don't know," and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity when there is none. While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim. Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever. Today, I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and others feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord.
What changes in your brain may be caused by soda, fatty foods, processed foods, and sugar? You can check out the Bloomberg News article by Robert Langreth and Duane D. Stanford, which appeared today in the November 6, Sacramento Bee, "Soda, fatty foods may spur addiction." In that article, studies are reported that show changes in the human brain. But sometimes the average consumer may not know which foods are addictive and which foods are healthier for the individual. Cupcakes may be addictive just like cocaine, according to the article, "Soda, fatty foods may spur addiction." Basically the medical studies at leading universities mentioned in the article show that processed foods and sugary drinks hijack the brain "in ways that resemble addictions to cocaine, nicotine, and other drugs." You have to examine the data, which the article reports is overwhelming. And the point of the article explains that scientists are finding evidence of overlap between drugs in the brain and food. Why does food, well, certain types of food, hit the brain like a bomb or rather like a drug and change the brain in much the same way as addiction to drugs change the brain? Food is medicine, say some scientists. And other researchers say food is addictive. The Lab tests so far have found that sugary drinks and fatty foods may produce addictive behavior in animals. Then human brain scans were done by the scientists. But the scans looked compulsive eaters and obese participants. What the scientists found were disturbances in brain-reward circuits similar to those experienced by drug addicts or drug abusers. In 2011, there are already 28 published studies on food addiction. You can look up these articles in the National Library of Medicine database. See the site, National Library of Medicine - National Institutes of Health. You have on one hand scientists looking at processed, commercial foods that they are calling addictive. But will industry put it's foot in the door so to speak when the food and beverage businesses generate one trillion dollars, according to the article? The news article doesn't state whether the one trillion dollar food industry figure is annual or not. What both the scientists and the industry are watching for is any real proof that fatty foods and snacks sweetened with sugar or corn syrup are addictive. So far, there's no proof in writing with a definitive statement saying certain foods are addictive drugs or behave like addictive drugs in the human brain. On the other hand, for shoppers, the consumer battle depends on what scientists can find that can be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. Now it's a legal problem. You can check out the website of Yale University's Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity. See, Rudd Center for Food Policy & Obesity — Home. The site contains numerous articles. See, On Preventing Nutrition Negligence. There also are the results of seminars you can peruse. See, Excess Intake and Taxes on Sugar-Sweetened Beverages: Potential Implications on Healthcare Costs and Selling Public Health Policy in Derivative Markets: Lessons from the 2009-2010 New York State Sugary Beverage Excise Tax Campaigns. For example in the 2011 newsletter of the Rudd Center, you can read a brief article about why the Rudd Center objects to recent criticism of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, whose suitability as a potential presidential candidate has been challenged because of his body weight. Another focus is the language that health care providers use when discussing a child's weight with parents can reinforce weight-based stigma and jeopardize discussions about health, according to a study recently published by the Rudd Center. The study appeared in the journal Pediatrics. President Obama Urged to Protect Children from Junk-Food Marketing Food advocates across the country are asking the President to act now to protect children from junk-food marketing. The country’s leading researchers and advocates for healthy eating, coordinated by the Prevention Institute, unveiled “We’re Not Buying It,” a video highlighting deceptive marketing to children and launched a campaign urging the President to stand up for children’s health, according to an article posted at the Rudd Center. The Interagency Working Group on Food Marketed to Children (IWG) proposed reasonable, science-based nutrition guidelines to help provide a model for companies that market to kids. However, the food industry and media companies are working to get Congress and the Administration to stop the IWG from finalizing these sensible recommendations. The campaign calls on the President to join parents, doctors, and public health practitioners in standing up for children’s health by supporting the voluntary guidelines, according to the Rudd Center's October 2011 newsletter. Check out the many nutrition-related articles and reports in their current and archived newsletters. Also see the site, EWG Takes a Stand on Food Marketed for Children. Anti-smoking Foods: What foods help motivate people to stop smoking or never start? What area the best foods to motivate you to quit smoking or to never start the habit? First, you avoid some of the most addictive foods, sugar, milk shakes, ice cream, cheese, chocolate, and processed or BBQ'd meats. Instead you eat sweet fruits when you crave sweets, such as an apple or banana. Next, you eat vegetables other than fries. Try a salad of shrimp or salmon, raw spinach, celery, carrots, red bell peppers, yellow squash or zucchini, raw mung bean sprouts, and chopped green onions. What happens to your body when you detox from smoking is a 10-day period of imbalance. The more green and red vegetables and fruits you eat, the quicker you'll get the nicotine toxins out of your body. Also try a little vitamin C, if your health condition permits taking vitamins. Drink lots of filtered, purified water. If milk and cheese causes you to crave suites, avoid dairy products and drink almond milk, hemp milk, or hazelnut milk. Or try a bowl of black rice and raw, organic sauerkraut and a dish of chili beans without meat. By avoiding the four most addictive foods which are sugar, chocolate, cheese, and red meat, especially cheese burgers, you will not stir up cravings for highly addictive foods that most people eat daily without realizing how 'hooked' on sugar, red or cold-cut meat, and cheese they really are. Also, don't load up on bread. Try crackers. Instead eat apples and cinnamon. Spices reduce cravings as do apples. You might cook a pot of boiled brown rice with a handful of raisins or other sweet, dried fruit such as goji berries, blue berries, or cherries and a dash of cinnamon and cloves. When the rice is cooked and fragrant, add a can of coconut milk, and let the cooked rice absorb the coconut milk. Thin the coconut milk with almond milk. Serve chilled. The fragrance of the dried fruit, such as dehydrated nectarines in the brown rice is filling and sweet without addicting you to dairy and table sugar or white rice. If you can't tolerate whole grains, try an egg drop soup made from boiled diced onions, celery and carrots into which you drop by the tablespoonful two beaten eggs. Flavor with cilantro and any spices or seasonings you enjoy. For more bulk, add a cup of cooked chick peas, pinto beans, or black beans to the soup and slices of avocado. Spices cut down on cravings for sweets as well as for other food items familiar to you such as the food that creates cravings which are sugar, cheese, chocolate, and meat. What helps most in food items to help you quit smoking? Apples, ginger, and cinnamon. And adding garlic to any foods also helps you cut the cravings. Think spices and herbs--ginger, cloves, cinnamon, and garlic added to foods. Save the garlic for the savory foods like fish, beans, and grains. Also a dash of curry and turmeric help. The spicier the food as long as you can stand the spices and herbs, the lower the cravings for smoking or for sweets. Sometimes coconut milk because it's medium chain saturated fats also helps you cut the cravings. But go easy on the fats. Olive oil on salads also helps as long as you don't crave lots of cheese with the olive oil. Be aware of your cravings for dairy unless you're lactose intolerant and don't enjoy dairy items such as cheese. Instead, you may prefer organic raw sauerkraut and fermented foods such as tempeh which you could use instead of cheese. For example, try sauerkraut over tempeh, which is fermented soy. Sauerkraut is fermented cabbage. Numerous fermented foods are made more digestible by the fermentation process with cultures, molds, or bacteria that is said to help digestion.
Whether you’re mid-bite, mid-sentence or perhaps mid-sleep, do you react to that ‘bing’ from your smartphone? Or, is it the flashing red light that gets you?
You’ve programmed your phone to alert you to messages, or has it programmed you to respond?
From the constant smartphone companion to the laptop replacing the lapdog, the Internet has many of us on a very short leash – an addictive one.
The consumer research firm Intersperience surveyed more than 1,000 people in Britain and found quitting the Internet is as hard for some as quitting drinking or smoking.
Without the Internet, 40% said they felt lonely. Ironically, it’s fathomable that 40% of those living with Internet addicts probably feel lonely too.
Laurie Tamblyn, an addictions counsellor in special programs at Toronto’s Bellwood Health Services, says there are many types of Internet addiction, including gambling, gaming, pornography and social networking.
“We’re just beginning to treat this. It is a big problem and it is going to become bigger before people start recognizing that they need to do something about it,” Tamblyn says.
“Some of us believe there is a tsunami coming because we haven’t fully recognized the problem yet.”
Part of that problem is the generation gap. Children today are children of technology – dependent on the social web and its tools.
Addiction is a progressive illness that ends up in isolation, Tamblyn says, so Internet use can be a slippery slope, and can have devastating effects on relationships.
“The amount of time people spend lost in their behaviours is comparable to a drinker spending time at the bar instead of with his family or friends,” Tamblyn says.
“The addiction becomes the focus of the addict’s life. The focus is to interact with the addiction before anything else. If this doesn’t happen, it results in mood swings and irritability.”
Internet addiction can be difficult to diagnose, says Dr. Greg Dubord, who teaches in the psychiatry department at the University of Toronto.
“Drawing the line between normal Internet use and Internet addiction is often difficult, because no set criteria for diagnosing the disorder have been established by the American Psychiatric Association.”
What is easy to recognize, however, is the impact of web overuse on our relationships.
Though social networking allows us to communicate with people all over the world, at times it seems to segregate us more than ever. Real-life interaction is often interrupted by bings and beeps. Thoughts become tweets and e-mails. Our fingers do the walking and the talking now.
From neglecting friends and family members to creating severe relationship problems, the Internet and our attachment to it can consume our lives.
One study documents 396 negative effects of the web on social involvement, including significant family problems, Dubord says.
“Reports have shown that excessive use of the Internet resulted in personal and family problems, with 53% of test-takers reporting severe relationship problems,” he says.
“Personal and family concerns extended to marriages, dating relationships, parent-child relationships, and close friendships.”
Dubord notes one case where a New York woman divorced her husband due to Internet overuse, and an extreme case involving a Korean couple so addicted to virtual games they let their three-month-old daughter starve to death.
If you think you may have a problem, Tamblyn says the best thing to do is ask for help.
“You can get an assessment at any treatment centre, or do it online and it’s anonymous. There are a lot of people struggling, and there’s a lot of help.”
Too e-dependent? Greg Dubord points out some general warning signs:
1. Lose track of time online.
2. Failed attempts at moderating Internet behaviour.
3. Neglecting work, sleep, friends and/or family to spend time online.
4. Turning to the Internet in times of stress or sadness to feel better.
How to cut down, according to Laurie Tamblyn:
1. Give yourself short breaks throughout the day when you can’t check your messages. Try going for a walk without your smartphone.
2. Put your iPad to bed. Set a bedtime for your Internet devices.
3. Wi-Fi-free meals. Wash your hands of wireless devices before eating.
4. Put your computer in a high-traffic area to stay accountable to those around you.
Montgomery County doctor and his son surrendered to police Thursday morning after investigators discovered that they were supplying known drug addicts with large supplies of narcotics, according to authorities. At least one person died of an overdose on Dr. Richard Ruth's drugs, police say. Ruth, of Souderton, was performing insincere medical exams for drug seekers and then providing them with prescription drugs that often ended up being sold in large quantities on the street, police say. Ruth has been running this drug operation for years, authorities say. The lengthy police investigation into Ruth's alleged crimes was called "Operation Pill Pusher." "We know that this community has been plagued by prescription drug abuse and overdoses and this was the go-to guy in the community," said District Attorney Risa Vetri Ferman. Ruth’s son, Michael Ruth, was his medical assistant. "For them to come in and say he’s unlawfully doing things is just an atrocity," a teary-eyed Michael told NBC Philadelphia’s Denise Nakano. Michael also faces charges in the drug scheme that involved charging patients for the narcotic prescriptions and insurance companies for the bogus office visits, police say. Police were tipped off to Dr. Ruth’s drug dealing scheme when sources told them last September that they were able to obtain large amounts of oxycodone from the doctor. In addition to providing drugs to people who dealt them on the street, Dr. Ruth ignored pleas from family members of the drug-addicted patients who asked him to stop prescribing drugs like Percocet and Oxycodone, police say. Dr. Ruth was charged with more than 40 counts of fraud, knowingly prescribing to drug addicts, prescription fraud, and conspiracy, among others. His son Michael was charged with similar crimes.
LOST SOUL: Amy Winehouse in London on July 23, 2009, exactly two years before her death. (Photo by Shaun Curry/Newscom.) This week, Amy Winehouse’s official cause of death was finally announced, three months after the singer was discovered dead in her London home on July 23. After initial autopsy results came back inconclusive, the coroner determined that Winehouse died from consuming an extreme amount of alcohol. According to test results, the 27-year-old singer’s blood alcohol level was five times the drunk-driving limit. Her doctor said the troubled star had resumed drinking in the days prior to her death, after a short-lived period of sobriety. Besides being a talented artist, Winehouse was emblematic of the numerous celebrities today whose public battles with substance abuse are regularly in the headlines. By the end of her life, Winehouse’s struggles had stretched to the point of becoming fodder for jokes and riddles (“Q: What was Amy Winehouse’s biggest hit? A: Her last one!”). Sadly, our society has grown so accustom to addiction that we now laugh it off. But for those in its grips, it’s no joke. We asked LaTonya Mason Summers, a Charlotte, North Carolina-based mental health therapist, to comment on the realities of drug and alcohol addiction and what we can do to help those affected by it. LaTonya Mason Summers: The word choice is interesting here, and I agree: the “world” was powerless to stop Amy Winehouse. But it was the “world” that fueled Winehouse’s addictions. Not “world” in the sense of the “earth,” but “world” as defined by Winehouse’s frame of reference — the background, culture, and lifestyle out of which she lived. Addictions are strong, pervasive and hard to understand and control, but it’s even more difficult when one tries to stop addiction by their own strength and understanding. It is reported that Winehouse died from alcohol poisoning. Drug and alcohol abuse is a byproduct of something far deeper. Oftentimes, it’s a symptom of low self-esteem, unresolved trauma and abuse, rejection and abandonment, and mostly fear. We do a great disservice to addicted persons when we focus on their addictions and ignore the underlying problems. When we have a culture entertained by reality TV shows, court and crime TV, and sensationalized Web broadcasting — not to mention today’s popular music — we can’t help but have a desensitized society. We are no longer afraid of or empathetic toward anyone or anything because we’ve been there and done that through TV and the media. So, why wouldn’t we have a “When will Amy Winehouse Die?” website? Unfortunately, we live in a society that “dumbs down” addictions but tacitly gives a “thumbs up” to its portrayals. Remember when there used to be cautionary documentaries on drugs and alcohol, and on people who struggled with them? Now, we have reality shows that glorify dysfunctional behavior. No wonder we are ignorant. Understanding addictions is no longer newsworthy. I used to set up and run treatment programs for adolescent and adult substance abusers. I absolutely loved that line of work, but it was emotionally tough. After 11 years of doing it, I stepped away to work solely with mentally ill people. The public sees addicted persons as weak people who lack self-control and deserve every consequence they face. But can you imagine the level of shame, guilt, frustration, and hopelessness that those substance abusers felt by the time they got to me? Imagine having failed everyone, including yourself, family, friends, employers, and the legal system — not to mention God. I always started treatment by instilling hope and restoring the addicted person’s sense of worth. It was much easier to establish rapport, trust, and motivation that way. God forbid I say this, but oftentimes the families were more sick than the addicts. In fact, family members would wind up on my couch before the addict would. Family work is important in substance-abuse treatment, because the family members can make recovery hard. They help too much. Their helping sometimes hurts the addict. When my patients had toxic families, I’d send my patient to a treatment program in another city or state so they could get better. In my experience working in the court system as an advocate for my clients, the courts made it worse. The punishment given rarely fit the crime. The probation officers were inconsistent. The judges sent mixed messages by punishing minor crimes with maximum sentences and vice versa. Jail time is punitive, and punishment does not work when the drug or alcohol use is secondary to something else. Addicts don’t mind punishment because they typically feel useless and worthless anyway. That kind of punishment affirms what they believe about themselves. However, I am not saying they should not suffer consequences for drunk driving, drug use, etc. I am saying that offering them rehab while they’re incarcerated might yield greater results. LaTonya Mason Summers Goodness, the stories I can tell. I’ve had a hand in imparting into the lives of addicted persons who are now pastors, business owners, and even addictions counselors. I had a 15-year-old girl whose parents brought her to me as a last resort. She had refused other counselors, and I assumed she would do the same with me. After I asked her parents to leave, the girl opened up to me like a book. (It wasn’t because of anything special that I said to her, but other professionals simply had failed to remove the parents.) The girl was a cocaine user and held me by her confidentiality rights, so I could not tell her parents. We made a pact that if she stopped using I would keep her secret. I cannot tell you the anxiety I had for weeks thinking something would go wrong. I collaborated with her physician to drug test her weekly to ensure the girl’s abstinence. After three months, her parents called thanking me for my help. The girl had returned to a healthy weight, her appetite had been restored, and her mood had improved. Today (four years later) she is a successful college student studying psychology. My biggest weapon is instilling hope. I do this by challenging the addicted person’s mentality and perspective. I am a cognitive behaviorist, which means I help change the way people think. I do not know what works, as I have often thrown up my hands on clients who later recovered. Then I have lost clients whom I thought had arrived. All I really know is, pray hard in each session. I ask for God’s help. I ask Him to give me the words to say, and I hold on toIsaiah 50:1-7, believing I am called as a therapist. I honestly don’t know when a person is legitimately recovered, as I believe it’s a lifelong process. Like those of us who are not addicted, we have our own lifelong battles — we try to stop lying, cheating, stealing, yelling, cursing, overeating — everyone has a Goliath they must face. And can any of us say we’ll ever arrive in this world? From my perspective, messing up is just as much part of the recovery process as getting it right is. And, if you get it right all the time, how do you know you’re recovered? Absolutely not! I’ve had to learn how to minister without saying “God” and “Jesus,” so that I can reach everyone. However, I know how to make others want what I have. I was mentored by a man who told me, “I may not be able to make a horse drink the water, but I should be able to make him thirsty.” And that’s the approach I take in therapy. I see myself as sowing seeds, believing someone will come behind me and water them, and eventually increase will come. Addiction is spiritual. I believe an addict’s zealousness can be indicative of the great calling on his life. He just needs to move that zealousness away from destructive behavior to purposeful, life-giving behavior.The public struggles of celebrities like the late Amy Winehouse reveal how insensitive our society has become to drug and alcohol abuse. But the problem is real, says therapist LaTonya Mason Summers, and we need to reject the ugly trend of laughing at its destructive effects.UrbanFaith: After Amy Winehouse’s death, the Huffington Post featured a commentary by Rabbi Shais Taub which asked the question, “Was the World Powerless to Stop Amy Winehouse?” In other words, are there addictions so strong and pervasive that they’re beyond human understanding and control? How would you answer that?
We see so many celebrity drug and alcohol addicts today that our culture has almost grown cold and callous to it. For instance, before her death there was a website devoted solely to the question of “When will Amy Winehouse die?” We see celebrities such as Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan, Whitney Houston, and Charlie Sheen, and we make jokes about them. How does this affect our culture’s understanding of addiction?
How do you counsel a person with a serious drug addiction? Where do you begin, and what kinds of things should family and friends understand as they’re trying to help that person?
Over the summer, former NBA star Jalen Rose was sentenced to 20 days in jail for drunk driving. Some wondered if the treatment was overly harsh because he was a black celebrity, since others have gotten off easier. Do you think jail time is an effective way to steer people clear of destructive behavior involving alcohol and drugs?
What kinds of miracles have you seen in your work with people battling addictions?
Among the celebrity success stories that stand out are Robert Downey Jr.’s eventual victory over substance abuse. It only came after several stints in jail and a long, public battle. What kinds of things contribute to a successful road to recovery, and when do you know that someone is legitimately recovered?
Is it possible to effectively treat addiction without addressing the spiritual aspects of the problem?
